"On the Other Hand"

As I mentioned earlier this month I'm off 'all' Meds. Meds of any type. No meds for pain diabetes depression anxiety. Hell I barely take aspirin. My body hasn't been this clean of 'Stuff' in more than 30 years.

Still my hell continues. Decades of medications just slightly eased the anguish. Now it's all coming bare as raw as it pleases. Yet I cope. I live. I progress though the remainder of my interesting life. The dreams have stayed. The dreams of all the meds through all those years replay themselves in dream after dream.

These are the nightmares I sometimes post of. Here's a jolly example.

"This a dream I just awoke from. A book I was holding a book in my hand. I knew it was the history of humanities faiths religious cultural political. It was all described within.

I opened it. There on living three dimensional pages was a pile of human skulls. Burning. Burning, but not consumed. Black smoke towered from it to the eternal skies."

"So it was for the next thousand pages. Skulls. Burning. Unconsumed. Smoke billowing to eternity."

When I have bad dreams I don't kid around.

The above, and then the usual cocaine dreams. I dream of the stuff regularly. This because it was my medication of choice for fifteen years. It's always the same. I get hold of large batch try using it, but it never works. Sometimes blocks of the stuff becomes alive sparkles, and wings about the room like a great burning Chinese dragon.

Still don't get any buzz though.

More lately just the usual Hell dreams I always send myself too. This is NYC specific. A subway hell. Dark grim subway trains from 1920 endlessly careening. 'Fire, and arcs of flaming electricity sparking through Hieronymus Bosch style tunnels, and stations. Did I mention the vending machines with all my specific Meds were shooting out of them. Btw google "Bosch". You'll get an eyeful.

( NYC hasn't has subway vending machines in 30 or more years. So I went deep to find that detail. Remember the 1930's Coke machines,...that 'never' worked.) ...I mean 'never'.

So all this to say what we 'all' already know.

Human life is hard. Very hard to live no matter how you are fixed for means. Life is hard. Nature is murderous, and frightful...beautiful too, but covered in thorns. Those are there for a reason.

I think all of the above is why we invented humor art, religion, and war. These complicated things take our developed human minds off the real shit of just trying to live. From what we know so far. Most other beings on this planet have no concept of death. Not even it seems the most intelligent like Whales Dolphins Dogs, and Ladybugs.

That lot has far more important stuff to think about. Like eating sleeping playing singing, and fucking. Humans, and Cats are the only two that know about death. That, and folks are the only ones obsessed with it. As with most things Cats don't give a fuck.

More on this noise as I get around to it.

Stay Tuned.