"Accidents of Birth"

A pal over on Facebook went through his genealogy program, and found his family was distantly related to the Brit Royal Family. Somehow via some Prince a zillion years ago in Saxony.

Look deep enough into the gene pool you'll find crap like that.

As it happens I'm very distantly related to mass murderers as well. The fucking Tolbert's of Liberia. These guys looted murdered oppressed the people of the failed state of Liberia forever.

"Distant Cousin Tolbert"

Liberia for them that were absent that day is the only America colony in Africa. Note family resemblance in their flag above. President Monroe a million years ago started it to get rid of the darkies by dumping them in the first clearing in the fucking jungle he could find.

He gave these poor bastards "Independence", and didn't look back.

As with all colonies there was already folks there,...yeah they were off to the races from day one. The Natives were fucked what with having these new guys hanging around with the backing of the American Army, and Navy. 

It didn't end well.

Cut to 1980. Basically the Natives killed everybody. However some of them Tolbert's got away with a big chunk of the treasury, and retired to Geneva,...I didn't even get a t-shirt.

As is traditional in these situations Boss Tolbert the XIII or whatever was over thrown by a Sargent. Idi Amin was a Sargent as well. Hitler only made Corporal. Non-coms are bad for business.

Former "Sargent General Boss for Life Doe"

The new Boss for Life "Sargent Doe" as by tradition at once promoted himself to General then President for Life,...which proved to be rather short,...also traditional.

He instituted a reign of French Revolution style Terror. A hot time was had by all. There followed decades of the chaos we've come to ignore in that part of the world. Their current major export are Child Soldiers. Btw they're still an unofficial American colony.

I read when #45 found out about them he allegedly suggested that Black welfare cheats, and drug addicts could be dumped there. Much as the Brits used Australia. Basically sentence as many darkies as possible to "Transportation".

I don't think I'd like it there. 

I mean besides river blindness Ebola AIDS  getting beheaded,...that French terror stuff they so like. Besides all that noise. If they find out who my distant relations were I might get special treatment. Something involving extra crispy.

Family is a bitch.