Friday, January 19, 2018

"Bon Appetit!"


I sent in my application today. This for the Federal "Freedom with Dignity Act of 2026" entitlement. If accepted I can present myself at any of the regional facilities for processing. I'm pretty sure I qualify. I meet the basic standards of acceptance.

I think the only exceptions are minors under 14 military veterans with a retirement rank of major or over. Most medal of honor winners former elected officials, and former board members of major corporations. For them there's still a federal program of subsistence.

It's minimal, but it's there. Sort of a radically cut down Social Security before that was abolished. This by the Economic Freedom, and Choice Act of 2022. 

As for my processing which should come as they say "on or around the third of the month after acceptance". Thing is you have to walk or take public transit to get there. It's still early in the program so the facilities are not conveniently sited yet.

I saw on the news they're renovating old malls factories, and abandoned supermarkets to make access easier on clients, and to encourage applications.
This is a good idea.
I'd have applied a few years ago if they'd done that in the first place.
Bad planning if you ask me,...politics.

B
tw they send you a booklet with hologram images of their places. Nice videos online with client interviews that seem more or less authentic. It doesn't look to be the scary shit demonstrators are claiming.
Yeah these are the prototype ideal layouts, but still. I imagine the "supermarket" processing stations will be a bit more humble. Ya know the usual bored civil servants, and minimum wage armed guards.

...who cares as long as it works.

If accepted I'm to go to Fort DeKalb the former Army base at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge.
It used to be a processing center for WW2 to Vietnam era draftees. It was still working for volunteers to the Army through the Terror War era. Anyway it's up, and running for "Dignity Act" work. One of the first in Brooklyn as I recall.

I looked over their website. Part of the deal is they slowly work you through the plan. There's medical assistance, and emotional back up if needed. The whole thing used to take four to five hours for each client. They streamed lined to down to 90 minutes.
This is fine with me. Just get it done,...ya know.

First an orientation. Then a very nice buffet,...you can order special. Anything,...within reason, as much as you want.
I noted on my application a Thanksgiving Dinner,...all the bleeping trimmings. I hear this is one of the favorite requests so I imagine them guys have got good at it. I requested some lines of cocaine for after. I hear that's allowed.

I bet they just give ya a TV dinner, and medical ganja.

After the meal you get a stage show from Broadway. With real stars from current hits,...at least in that prototype place. I imagine most will just get some local stand-up guy to keep us cheered up.
Either is fine with me.

After all this, and another interview to make sure this is of my own choice, and that one has not in any way been coerced physically or mentally. You have to sign a bunch of stuff about this. This so your family or one them religious nut groups don't sue the government.

I want the damned process being poor, and hungry is no gag.

Overseas it's a seriously different story. In Europe the army just rounds up their poor the immigrants Queers trouble makers, and they get the shake, and bake.

No foreplay.

Here they give you a dinner, and a show.

This is fine with me.

According to the big packet they sent. After all the fun, and games they gets down to business. You're taken to the processing level below ground. It looks like a cheerful hospital ward. You lay down in a private room,...again in the prototype.

Leaked word is at this point you can't back out. That's what them big beefy guys in brochure are there for.
You get dumped on a gurney in a large hall with everybody else. They inject you right then no pretty please.

That unless you requested 'in writing' on your application that you get a fruit juice drink with the "stuff" in it.
It takes about 4minutes no pain you just drift off. They guarantee this. However I've no doubt there's "difficulties" from time to time. Hey we're talking the federal government here.

Then you're removed to another facility for final processing.

Your ashes are either mailed to your family or designated friends. If not it's used for fertilizer. Btw this makes everybody in the country a kind of cannibal since we're growing their food with our bone meal, and ashes.

I find this hilarious. I hopes they choke!

Bon Appetit!

There's a gurney waiting for you too!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

European-style sounds more efficient to me, no nonsense; though in France you’d think they’d at least give you a decent coffee and croissant.

Z

uncle1950uncle said...

National Fronts are not known for their generosity of spirit.

So perhaps they'll drown their Untermensch in barges. Saving the cost of gas bullets, and certainly coffee, and croissant.

I imagine here they'll get it down to faster than the mentioned 90 minutes.

After a few years of making nice they'll just get down to business. This to save time, and money. Applicants will be approved on the spot when they arrive.
Then taken by armed guards directly to the lower level processing floor.
This for rendering.
No need for the bother of TV dinners or hiring low level stand-ups.

That, and the ashes, and bone meal automatically sold to fertilizer vendors with on the "queue-tee" kick back contracts.

This saving the cost of identifying remains, and mailing them to relatives. It would be a very simple re-write of the Act to get all this speeded up.