Sheriff Alcibiades Broadjump of Rosebonnet County Arizona. (Above,...eh, on the right.) He was called in by NASA, and the NSA to Houston to examine, and identify the holy remains. Alcibiades is a grand nephew or something. Anyway he was the only DNA match in the NSA database.
Sheriff Broadjump sez he knew his great uncle was Gawd. This is why he's a third generation Satanist. Whole family both sides. Seems they signed up with the other team. Sez our satanic Sheriff, "...everybody knew what a total loser, and incompetent asshole uncle was."
"We figured we'd get a better deal with them devil spooks,...so far we have."
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