CONSPIRACY theorists have finally been convinced there is no secret society running the country because no-one could possibly believe any of this was orchestrated.
Since the dawn of the internet, bedroom-based conspiracy theorists have thought society was controlled by a shadowy ‘Illuminati’ who somehow have the manpower to run everything.
Tom Logan, from Stevenage, said: “If they are running it then someone needs to be sacked.
“Or sacrificed, if that’s what they do.”
Racist, Norman Steele added, “I used to think the Jews were running everything. But they seem pretty organized, so I can’t imagine they’d be behind this mess.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, added: “When you look at the current state of affairs, it’s pretty clear who is running it.
“The French.”
The above describes my feelings exactly. No self respecting Mad Rulers of the World, and Cosmos would be running a demented disaster like what we've got.
I mean if there really 'were' a bunch of guys wearing funny hats weird robes chanting shit, and ruling the world from a bunker somewhere. Things might actually be a lot better.
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