"My Fox News Interview"

Fox News: "So...Uncle Sydney, what's with all the toys?"

Uncle: "Cause I Loves 'em ."

Fox News:"...So then you 'do' believe in Santa."

Uncle: "What?"

Fox News: "...and Faeries, and Angels, and the Free Lunch."

Uncle: "...Yes but..."

Fox News: "So how long have you been a Communist Homosexual?"

Uncle: "Hey I was asked here about my book, "The Sandman, and Me."

Fox News: "...And you spent decades pushing your agenda on the air."

Fox News: "Would you care to explain your relationship with "Tink?"

Uncle: "...you mean Tinkerbell?"


Fox News" "The possibly underage faerie of your...eh acquaintance."

Uncle: "You nuts she's 648 years old!"

Fox News: "...and Daffy Duck. A known anarchist, and drug addict."

( Here the interview was momentarily interrupted by a Performance artist that set his shoes on fire, and sang the "Oscar Myer Weiner" hot dog song. After signing autographs we was arrested, and shot by security.)

Uncle: "About my book..."

Fox News: "We have found an essay by you, "Satan is my Co-Pilot."

Fox News: "Also a fresco you did depicting Hitler Stalin Walt Disney, and Nixon in Hell involved together in physically impossible erotic acts."

Uncle: "Now I can explain that,...see I got a call from Yoko Ono, and..."

Fox News: ."..what of this Nun's habit I show here found in your eh,...closet?"

Uncle: "Now about that. See I was holding it for a friend..."

Fox news: "Here as the folks at home can see is footage you selling what you claimed were 'logs' from the One True Cross...Uncle?"

Uncle: "Eh..."

Fox News: "Is this newer footage is this 'you' printing bootleg copies of "Fantastic Four" #1 in the basement of the green party headquarters?"

Uncle: "...well..."

Fox News: "Is it true you put 'Vinegar' on your fries,...Like--the--French."

Uncle: "....um...eh."

Fox News: "Uncle...?"

Fox News: I have here photographs of you as a 12 year old boy holding what appears to be a high powered rifle standing near an underpass in Dallas on a certain day in late November 1963. Do you care to comment.

Uncle: "....I need to call my Agent."